Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize