dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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