just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
