And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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