Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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