my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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