We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize