i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
