I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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