it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
