i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
