The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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