We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
