Dual....:-)
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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