I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
