wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The air taste purple.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
