24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
