Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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