If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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