she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was like eating out sand paper
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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