I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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