Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
