wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The uberlube is also flammable
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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