Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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