Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
