I think I am morally bankrupt
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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