Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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