Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
