i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
