So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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