He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize