No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
