Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
