I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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