so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
