sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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