dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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