I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize