Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Found your dick twin last night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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