There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
