I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
