Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
