If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
