Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
