i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize