if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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