Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it glows. i had to have it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
