I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
