Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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