Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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