If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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