Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
