she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am naked and annoyed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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