wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
