I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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