If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
