I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
