ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize