My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
