Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
