I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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